Hello Yes I Am Alive

It’s 4pm and I’m only just getting around to writing the weekly round-up because I had an unexpected visit from the BFF, who dropped in before she goes on holiday. It was wonderful to see her – the kind of friend we all need is one who says things like “No, don’t worry that the cat’s pooed everywhere, I will clean it up for you.”

Yes, this angelic-faced beauty does shit all over the floor

This week I’ve been torn between having quite a bit of energy so wanting to do stuff, but trying not to do so much stuff that I lose the ability to stand up properly again.

I finished a translation project, did a bit of proofreading, posted some articles, and wrote a round-up on my freelance agency’s website about the things we’ve been up to. It reminded me that even though I’m not doing a great deal myself due to my insides melting, I am still managing a group of people who are actually getting quite a lot done.

Two book ideas are fighting in my mind at the moment, so I’m going to try to force myself into a decision this week about which one will be next. One has pretty much been guaranteed publication, which is a bonus, and I might be able to get an advance which would be good for my dwindling bank balance. But the other would be more fun to write. Then again, if I can bash out the former in a shortish period of time then it’d give me more experience, which I could use to help me write the more interesting one. But if I keep putting off the one I really want to write because others are quicker and easier, then I’ll end up just writing a load of shorter, simpler books which won’t stretch me so much as an author. Then again, right now I’m seriously ill and shouldn’t really be working anyway. So I don’t know what I’ll decide.

I had a strange week in which I felt quite a bit better but still didn’t feel like doing very much. A friend pointed out that there’s a cumulative effect to being ill for this long, which means that even on the good weeks I’m not going to feel exactly well, so I suppose that shouldn’t be a surprise. At the weekend I woke up feeling like I had energy but then ended up spending the whole time watching Miranda and Outnumbered, both of which I binge-watched in their entirety.

It’s difficult to work out how hard to push myself. On the one hand, keeping going is the only thing that’s… well, keeping me going. On the other, I am ill and I do need to rest a lot. But just how much I need to rest is up for debate, and I have these conversations with myself almost every day when I’m trying to decide whether I should retire to the living room with Netflix or push myself to do a bit more work even though I can’t really be arsed. In other words, it’s hard to work out when I need to rest because I’m ill, and when I’m just being lazy.


As you can see, my current mood can be summed up as indecisiveness.

Amazingly, I read no books this week. I read a bit of Ship of Theseus, which I’m enjoying but does take quite a lot of concentration. My brain wasn’t really up for that, it just wanted to Netflix things. And watch a bit of Outlander on Amazon Prime, which despite being a good show isn’t one that lends itself to binge watch sessions.

Anyway, today is payroll day so I’m off to pay all my freelancers and then probably off to bed with whatever I decide to watch next. Any suggestions?

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