I swear Mark Manson lives inside my head. Practically every time I read one of his blog posts, I find myself nodding along enthusiastically and then sharing it with everyone I can.
So it wasn’t exactly surprising that the same could be said about this book.
Contrary to the title, the book isn’t so much about not giving any fucks at all, as about choosing which fucks to give. But I imagine The Subtle Art of Working Out How Many Fucks to Give and About What wouldn’t have been such a marketable title.
I have noticed that the older I get, the fewer fucks I give. Sometimes I worry that I’m not giving enough fucks, but Manson seems to think I’m doing OK.
In typical Manson style, there’s a lot of well-thought-out, deeply researched stuff in this book. It’s not your average self-help fluff and bollocks. It’s a straight-talking look at how people live their lives, and how to change yours if you want to.
It talks a lot about entitlement, in a way that made me nearly weep with joy: Someone agrees with me about what entitlement is! Spoiler alert: it’s not solely people who think the world should give them everything on a plate. There are other types of entitled people too, and at some point in your life you’ve probably been one. (To date, I have been two types of Manson’s entitled people – neither of which is the “give me that, I DESERVE IT” type – and the second type is one I’m still shaking off. I’d say “Read it and then guess which one I am”, but I feel that could end badly.)
Another theme Manson discusses is that of exceptionalism. I’ve had conversations with a few people recently about this: about how now that we see so many highlights from different people’s lives and so little of the boring sad drudgery type stuff that it’s easy to believe our lives should be exceptionally amazing at all times. Which of course they won’t be, nor should they. In Manson’s words:
The vast majority of your life will be boring and not noteworthy, and that’s okay.
Lots of books with self-helpy sounding titles tell you what you should be prioritising, how you should define success, and then how to achieve that success. They do this to varying degrees of usefulness, of course. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, on the other hand, helps you to work out how you define success already, and why; and then to shift your perceptions if that would be helpful. In other words: the book doesn’t start from the premise that you’re fundamentally flawed (or no more than anyone else, in any case) but instead that there are reasons why you do the things you do, and so if something’s bothering you, the way to stop that from happening first of all involves working out the reason behind why it’s bothering you before you even think about trying to change it.
In summary: this is a realistic, useful, practical, very well-written guide to navigating your way through the world. And god knows we could all use that from time to time.
I have been meaning to read this!
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s so good!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I can honestly say I judge a book by its cover which I shouldn’t do but this book looks interesting. I need to not a f*ck in life with certain people. 🙃👍🏼
LikeLiked by 1 person
I also enjoyed that the book came from a perspective that the reader isn’t fundamentally flawed, and had reasons for their actions and could take control of those. That was more empowering then being told how to fix my irrational self.
I actually hated this book as I was reading it, but months later I was still thinking about the things Manson said. Especially the “immortality projects” concept from Ernest Becker. My mind is still digesting it all.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Love this book! I carry it around all the time and it’s funny seeing people’s reactions to the cover.
Personally, it made a huge difference in how I thought about things, which was nice. Great review!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, it’s an interesting one to read on public transport 😉
LikeLike
I came across this at the book store last week and wasn’t to sure about it. After reading your thoughts on it I think I’ll pick it up and give it a go. 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Let me know what you think! I hope you enjoy it 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person