The Flat List #3


Alright, it’s been long enough since my last update on The Flat List that I should probably go through it again and see what I can cross off and what still needs to be done. It feels like a lot has happened since June; I hope I’m right about that.

Here goes… 

The Living Room

  • Finish stripping the wallpaper.
  • Pull up the floor.
  • Get the walls plastered or rendered or plastered and rendered or whatever the right term is.
  • Decide what I’m doing about heating
  • …and do it.
  • Get the windows reframed because the frames are rotting.
  • Take off the final remains of the manky secondary glazing that looks like it was installed in the 70s and never cleaned.
  • Work out what I’m doing about lighting and install any fixtures that need to be put in.
  • Paint the ceiling and walls.
  • Clean the mantlepiece, which has brown gunk caked in its crevices.
  • Sort out the floor.

This is very exciting. Only one thing left in the living room section! The deceptively small ‘…and do it’, though, hides a multitude of things. I have decided that I’ll keep my current boring radiator rather than buying a beautiful cast iron one, because that shit’s expensive. I will be painting it, but first I need to get it reattached (we took it off to do the walls).

The other heating-related thing that needs to happen is the installation of a wood burning stove, which will make the fireplace look even more beautiful.

However that’s a big, messy job, and I am so done with big, messy jobs. Which leads me on to…

The Hallway

  • Rip up the floor.
  • Fill the holes in the walls.
  • Paint the ceiling and walls.


The Kitchen

  • Take up the manky grey lino I put down in 2016 as a temporary option.
  • Paint all the units black and replace the handles with prettier ones.
  • Make the white tiles black (rather than the hassle of replacing them, I’m probably going to buy some of that stick-on tile stuff and hope no one notices).
  • Get a new light fixture that doesn’t make me feel like I’m cooking in a supermarket.
  • Paint the ceiling and walls.
  • Put down some pretty black floor tiles.

because plans for these might be changing. I’ve had this crazy idea in the back of my mind for a while now, that I might knock down the wall that separates these two spaces so that when you enter my house you walk into a lovely big open-plan kitchen, rather than a teeny squeezy little hallway. However, that would be yet another big, messy (not to mention expensive) job, so we will see if I can be arsed.

At the end of the hallway is

The Weird Little Staircase From The Hallway Into The Bedroom

  • Paint the walls.
  • Sort out the lighting.
  • Finish the stairs. This will involve painting them, and possibly also some decorative tiles, depending on how energetic I’m feeling.

which I have done precisely no work on, except that I cleaned the stairs for the first time in about four years, so that was nice. Now you can walk down them without tripping over stuff.

The final thing on the flat list as it stood in the last update was


  • Remove all the stuff people have dumped behind the little wall outside my house.
  • Paint the little wall so it doesn’t look as shabby.
  • Plant some plants there to make it look cheerier.
  • Set up a neighbourhood book swap scheme by placing a small bookshelf behind the wall for people to take from and contribute to.
  • Get the fire escape stairs fixed.
  • Hang some plant pots over the fire escape balcony bit.
  • Clean the weird moss stuff off the courtyard.
  • Fix the holes in the courtyard wall.
  • Paint the courtyard wall so it doesn’t look as shabby.
  • Buy a couple of picnic tables and a BBQ and put them in the courtyard. (What I’m loftily referring to as ‘the courtyard’ is a small patch of… well, courtyardy bit?… that’s shared between me and an unknown number of neighbours. At least two, but possibly more. At the moment no one takes care of it. I want to change that.)
  • Plant some plants in the courtyard to make it look cheerier.

I did plant the plants, but most of them died over the summer because I just couldn’t water them enough in the intense London heat. So I need to redo the stuff I’ve already done, and then do a bit more. Probably over the autumn, before the frosts come.

And now that the living room’s so close to being finished I need to add a new thing to the list, which is *cue tense music*

The Bathroom

The main thing I need to do with the bathroom is

  • Decide what I want to do with the bathroom

because I thought I knew, but now I’m not so sure. I think it’ll partly depend on whether I keep the kitchen/hallway divide or whether I knock down a big wall. We shall see. In the meantime I think there’s some Pinteresting due to happen in the near future.

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