Personal, Philosophy

How We See Things

The ways in which people interpret the world have always amazed and intrigued me. How two people can look at the same situation, be armed with the same knowledge about it, and yet still come out with different conclusions (aka ‘politics’). How two people can have a very similar experience and yet react in wildly different ways. How something that can floor one person won’t bother another.

But even more subtly: how the individual ways in which we think about the world – our personal hermeneutics – help us to see things through a unique lens.

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Personal, Weekly Round-Ups

This Week, Not Much To Report

Without wanting to sound too morose about it, this week was shit and I have nothing much to report. I was very ill and I spent most of it either in bed or in the bath. However, in the interests of making sure you all know I’m still alive, and of keeping people updated so they don’t inundate me with messages asking how I am, I will write a short post anyway.

On Thursday I spent a record 15 hours in the bath, 12 of them in one straight run. About once every two hours I’d get out, drain the water and run a new one. I’ve now used up my annual allowance of water, I think.

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Personal, Weekly Round-Ups

A Week Of Pleasant Surprises

I was finally feeling more alive again this week, having essentially spent three weeks asleep. I caught up on a bit of work, and read some stuff, and watched some stuff, and generally had a fairly relaxed time.

Well, apart from nearly making a chemical weapon in my bathtub when a giant spider appeared in it. That wasn’t so relaxing. (There are no pictures of spiders in that post. Or this one.)

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Personal

How To Act When Someone You Know Is Seriously Ill

As we all know, I’ve been stumbling through life a bit pathetically over the past few months, after my internal organs started trying to kill me. They probably won’t succeed, because they haven’t succeeded any other time they’ve tried and because I’m getting treatment, but in the meantime I’m pretty much housebound, except for occasional trips to the supermarket at the end of the road on days when I have enough energy to walk there.

Yesterday was one of those days (yay!) and I went to buy some washing up sponges and some pears. Now that I can sometimes eat successfully, I am experimenting with different foods. So far most non-citrus fruits seem to be OK most of the time (double yay).

On my way there I bumped into a friend whom I haven’t seen since just before I got ill. We had a brief conversation, then he went on his way, I did my shopping and came home. On the way back I realised that his reaction has been a textbook example of the best way to act when someone you know is seriously ill. I know it’s a subject that’s understandably difficult for a lot of people – what should I say? when should I say it? is it OK to ask stuff? – so I thought I’d use him as an example and write a post about it.

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Personal, Weekly Round-Ups

And Then I Broke A Bit Again

…because this is how these things go. One day I’m swimming for three quarters of an hour, pounding laps up and down the pool, walking home in the light mist of rain under the orange glow of the street lamps, climbing the stairs to my flat, winding down with a book for the evening, getting into bed feeling almost well.

And then the next day I wake up and my ribs are aching and I taste blood in the back of my throat, and it feels like there is acid coursing through my veins. On the way up the stairs from my bedroom I stumble into the wall and have to rest there for a moment, because seven steps is just too many to be able to climb in one go. I try to work, of course, because I am me and that is what I do, but ultimately I have to admit defeat and pull a blanket around my shivering skin and curl up on the sofa.

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Personal, Weekly Round-Ups

The Week I Got My Brain Back

Last week’s post left off just as I was about to go into hospital to find out when they’d be booking me in for surgery. I had been hoping that it might be fairly soon, since I’m apparently an urgent case and I’ve barely been able to leave the house in months, but hope is a treacherous and flighty beast, and of course things didn’t go quite so smoothly.

The waiting list for surgery is 4-6 months long; the minimum amount of time in which I’ll be booked for surgery is four months. Then there’s an eight-week recovery period, so basically whatever happens I’m essentially taking the rest of the year off.

They can’t push me up the list unless my Angry Internal Organs actually rupture, which made me start wishing they would, until I remembered that would have irritating potential side effects like involuntary sudden death. So I figured maybe I’ll obey the doctor’s instructions and not do anything to make this whole situation any more precarious, and look after my Angry Organs, and hopefully maintain this tenuous truce for as long as I can.

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Personal, Weekly Round-Ups

The Return of the Weekly Round-Up

As we all know, I’ve been offline a lot lately, and work hasn’t exactly been as busy as it normally is, due to my organs rebelling against their allocated tasks and rising up in a kind of painful internal revolution.

I’m not blogging as often either, mainly because my brain feels like it’s made of cotton wool that’s been drenched in chloroform. But it’s looking like this whole situation is going to be dragging on for fucking ages, and so I’ve decided to return to doing a round-up post once a week on this blog, for four reasons:

  1. There’s generally one day a week when I feel vaguely alive.
  2. I’d like to keep some kind of blog activity going.
  3. While I’m not able to do anywhere near as much as usual, I am still getting some stuff done. Sometimes it’s hard to remember that because of the amount of time I’m currently spending lying on the sofa watching Netflix, but I think it’d be good to reassure myself that I am still living my life, albeit in slo-mo.
  4. People keep asking me for updates on how I am and what condition my health is in, and it’s exhausting to have the same conversation 46 times, so if you want updates, you now know where to get them.

So, without further ado, the round-up of the last week or so.

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